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Necessity is the mother of invention. And while the rules of engagement have temporarily changed, our need to seek out companionship and romance hasn’t. The dance of meeting new people and dating during the Coronavirus pandemic is alive and well; the venue has just gone digital.

More and more people are making connections online and rerouting their relationship-building journeys into a series of video dates. And while getting to know someone over video may feel like social trailblazing to some – we’ve got you. Here’s a helpful playbook with four ways to use video dating to build your relationship:

DATE 1: The Ice Breaker.

Play a game of charades, have a cooking contest, sing karaoke – go for it! The goal here is to create an atmosphere where you feel mutually comfortable letting your guard down, focusing less on yourselves and more on laughing together.

TAKEAWAY: It’s easier to get to know each other in a lighter atmosphere. Experiencing some upfront fun together eases the pressure when you first meet and establishes common ground.

DATE 2: Enjoy a Calm Shared Activity.

Under quarantine, virtual watch parties have really taken off. Streaming services and other online video platforms (e.g., YouTube) are hosting live events and have enabled synchronized video playback creating shared real-time viewing experiences. Pick a television show, a movie, a live concert or even a Broadway production to share from the comfort of your couch. Come as you are. Formal attire not required.

 TAKEAWAY: The important thing here is you experience, react and read each other’s reactions in real-time together. This is your opportunity to see the other person in a new light and learn how they respond to serious/funny/entertaining situations.

DATE 3: True Colors: Getting Through the Screen.

Video Dates 1 and 2 should give you a good read on the person on the other side of the screen. And now, Date 3 will take you deeper. An essay published in The New York Times Feature Series “Modern Love” refers to an interpersonal closeness study involving a questionnaire made of 36 questions designed to lead you to love.

The idea is for you and your partner to interview each other alternating between asking and answering each other these questions. As the questions progress, you’ll gain a deeper understanding of what makes the other person tick. At the end of the exercise, try gazing into each other’s eyes for 2-4 minutes. Reflect on the activity.

TAKEAWAY: This safe, transparent exchange allows you both the opportunity to reveal your authentic selves, building a mutual appreciation for your partner, drawing you closer and ultimately igniting love.

DATE 4: Create Intimacy.

Things are getting real at this point. As your relationship progresses, it will naturally become more intimate. One of the most intimate settings in your home is the bedroom. So, consider making this the backdrop of your fourth video date. Lie in bed, relax on your pillow and chat. Take time to connect, focus on each other and see where the conversation goes. 

TAKEAWAY: You’ve gone from acquaintance to friend and now it’s time to explore if this connection is relationship material. The guardrails are down and trust should be setting in. 

Building a new relationship is a process. This progressive series of video dates create shared experiences and conversations that kindle love, setting the stage for a promising future together.

For more advice on how to navigate dating and building a new relationship, contact us today.

David Fishman

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