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We’ve talked before about the importance of seeing people in different situations as your relationship grows. One of the most telling situations is when you introduce other people into the mix.

Chances are you’ve known someone who is great in a one-on-one environment, but changes when other people are around. 

Perhaps they need to be the center of attention and dominate the conversation. 

Maybe they become possessive, condescending or downright mean. 

On the flip side, maybe they are so shy or uncomfortable, it’s painful to be in a social situation with them. While it’s hard to fault someone for being an introvert, if you love big parties and crowds, you may struggle to be in a relationship with someone that prefers solitary pursuits. 

Understanding how a potential partner interacts in a social situation, can make or break a relationship, so it’s worth planning a double date sooner rather than later.

Why a double date?

Many people use parties, or families gatherings, as a way to start introducing their new partner to the people in their lives. While there’s nothing wrong with that, it can be intimidating to face a crowd – especially if the people in the group already know each other and your date is clearly an outsider.

A double date is a low pressure way to ease your new partner into your life.

Do’s and Don’ts of Double Dates

Do: Get creative in your plans. Instead of dinner and drinks, go for a picnic or a hike together. 

Do: Play games. Whether you’re playing charades or having a pool tournament, play is good for building intimacy in relationships. Bonus points if you are able to be on a team together. 

Do: Focus on common interests. If your partner loves basketball, try arranging something with another couple, who you know has a fan of the same team. 

Don’t: Plan an event where money becomes an issue – like an expensive restaurant or high-priced concert tickets.

Don’t: Spend the whole date focusing on inside jokes, or a topic only two people are interested in. 

Don’t: Hog the conversation. Give your partner a chance to speak and interact on their own. Chances are you’ll learn things about your new partner as other people will ask questions you don’t. 

Double dates are a great way to get a glimpse of how a potential partner will fit into your life. Just remember to create a low-pressure situation that everyone will enjoy.

Have more questions about intimacy and relationships? Contact us today.

David Fishman

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