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2016 The Year of Better SexIt’s a New Year and it’s time for those notorious New Year’s resolutions. These are goals we set for the new year ahead. Often we set goals like losing weight, getting more exercise, getting a new job, or eating better. I suggest a different goal: improving your sex lives and having a more pleasurable year.

We know exercise and eating well is a recipe for a healthier life. With advancement in sex research over the last 65 years, we are discovering that the amount of sex America is having is contributing to our poor physical and mental health.

Sex is just not a priority

For many of us, sex is just not a priority or just not enjoyable. Of all marriages about 1 in 3 is considered a “no sex marriage,” meaning less than 10 sexual encounters a year.

Better Sex = Better Health

Sex has been proven to
• Improve immune function
• Reduce stress hormones
• Burn calories
• Helps us sleep

As for mental health:
• Sex reduces stress
• Builds bonds between people
• Increases one’s self image
• Is generally one of the best anti-depressants around

Research has also disproven any health concerns of masturbation. In fact, we have discovered that exact opposite.

First, orgasm is a complex reflex affecting the whole body. At orgasm, oxytocin (a feel good hormone) that is responsible for bonding and empathy is released, reducing stress and increasing that connection between sexual partners. Endorphins are released. These are brain chemicals that act as the body’s own opioid. They:
• Reduce pain
• Help you sleep
• Reduces stress hormones known to cause lowered immune response and increased rates of many serious diseases like cancer

Orgasms also increase testosterone in both sexes, a hormone that helps regulate mood, energy, and motivation, and sexual desire.

The health benefits go even further toward long term health

health benefits of sexResearch has found that men and women who orgasm at least three times a week have higher levels of testosterone, lower risk of heart disease, and lower risks of cancer. Prostate health is most affected because men who ejaculated 3 times a week or more have a 33 percent reduction in risk of prostate cancer. Frequent orgasms have also been found to increases penile function and vaginal function.

Semen and ejaculation may also have health benefits. Semen for men may cleanse the male reproductive tract, like the prostate, of carcinogens. It also expunges sperm causing the body to increase production of sperm maintaining an abundant supply of sperm that is young and healthy.

For women, semen, no matter if it’s ingested through the stomach or the vagina may have anti-depressant properties and other health benefits. As far as one’s mental health, sex can increase one’s self esteem and body image.

People who have more sex have lower rates of divorce, mental illness, and less sexual dysfunctions than people who don’t. We are wired to desire sex not only for reproduction but for emotional regulation and connection.

Sex is important.

I am not saying you must have sex three times a week if that not what you desire. What I am saying is that having a satisfying and fulfilling sex life, whatever that means, is important.

Masturbation can be so much more then getting off or ejaculating as quick as possible. Sex can be more than a 2-minute jack hammer imitation.

I believe we all can, and deserve to have great sex lives, no matter how old or how long you have been with a person.

Over the next year, I will be posting an exercise each month designed to improve your intimacy, spirituality, mindfulness, sexuality, self confidence, and desire both with with yourself and your partner/s in a relationship or as a single.

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Happy New Year everyone!

David Fishman