In a relationship feeling loved and being loved can often seem like different things. We love our partners but often not in the way they need to be loved. Loving your partner, not on your terms, but rather on theirs could be the ticket to having more sex and a happier relationship or marriage. The path to anyone’s pants must past through the heart first, whether it be a first date or after 50 years. It is simple.
The more a person feels loved the the more a person will be sexually receptive.
At different levels this is true in all sexual encounters that are truly fantastic experiences. However, what makes up the act loving is not the fact you are doing something nice for your partner. If doing nice things for the people you love is not being loving then what is? Great question, and one that will be answered by the end of this blog.
Being loving is all about doing nice things
The difference lies in what that nice thing is. A nice gesture makes a person feels good, a loving gesture makes a person feels special. A loving gesture is an act of kindness that is Individualistic to that person’s needs.
For example, a person brings their partner flowers. Nice, but does that make their partner feel loved? In some cases, yes, absolutely flowers can make some feel loved but not always. The determining factor is how well that gesture satisfies their needs. Flowers cannot replace a friendly ear or human touch. Take a scenario where a person had a stressful day and is feeling tense. Flowers may be nice and appreciated but a loving gesture maybe listening intently or just a comforting hug. This might be the more loving gesture in that moment.
Often people get mad in relationships because they feel they are not being heard or they feel disconnected. Gifts are nice but connecting with your partner is so much more loving. A loving gesture should contain 3 things:
1.That you heard your partner’s feelings and understand what they need at that moment.
2.The act should be individual to that moment and person
3. No expectation of any form of reciprocity because loving gestures should be given without subtext, innuendo, or condition.
I know you are thinking:
How can I know what my partner wants at any given moment? That is impossible!
I argue that it is hard but not impossible. Its easy to do what you know because it requires no thought or mental effort and it shows.
Instead, ask your partner what they need. Asking your partner what they need to feel loved, does not make the loving act less loving. The responsibility does not fall only on your partner to ask what you need to be loved but it is equally important to tell your partner what you need that is equally important. Your partner can only provide what they know. If they are not providing for your needs, it might not be that the person does not care, but rather they just do not know what you want.
When a person feels loved, they become drawn to the person providing the love.
It is human nature to gravitate to people who love you. Sexuality and love are intertwined and often one leads to the other.
When a person feels loved it unlocks sexual energy and often directed towards the person providing the loving act. When the heart is warmed by the love of another person, we often express that love in sexual ways.
For example, let us look at a couple with 3 kids and one partner is the primary homemaker. It’s a tiring job being a homemaker with three kids and it can easily be an overwhelming job. By the end of an overwhelming day, sex may be the last thing on that person’s mind. Let’s say you are the other partner who knows how hard the day is for their partner and pitches in and is able to relieve the pressure on the partner that is the homemaker. The energy they would have used to get through the day is now available to be directed towards you. In this case, helping the overwhelmed partner is a loving act, and I am sure a much-welcomed one at that.
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