On Friday May 23, 2014 Elliot Rodger a 22 year-old student at University of California-Santa Barbra shot 15 killing 7 including himself. The questions and issues in this case are numerous. I can talk about the fact that he was able to get a gun or about the mental health system, I am not going to talk about those issue but rather I am going to discuss the two issue no one is covering in the media but is a wide spread and detrimental to our culture and society. I am going to talk about his views about sex and women. In this case the center of Elliot’s rage.
Prior to shooting Eliot Rogers left us unfiltered view into his mind. He left us personal video manifestos outlining his views. In the video’s he discussed his hatred toward women and other men. He blamed women for his life of misery, loneliness, and despair. Through all this delusional nonsense, he summed up a huge problem in our country, the male sense of sexual superiority and entitlement over women’s equality and sexuality. What I mean by this is based on a quote from Elliot Rodger in one of his many videos, “you girls starved me of sex, enjoyment, and pleasure my entire youth.” In that statement he clearly blames women for his sexual dissatisfaction and misery. Statements like this are as common as a summer thunderstorm, maybe not in those exact words but in other forms. Some examples are in domestic murders where the husband kills his family or his spouse because if he cannot have them no one can. The rapist who said, “It wasn’t rape, she asked for it” or say, “she liked it”.
The problem here is that we exonerating boy’s bad sexual behavior as boy’s being boys and turn around and blame the girls. A prime example is at concerts where women constantly get violated in the “pit”, the man who stares down a shirt of women, and the man who sexual harasses or assaults women. A few weeks ago a girl was kicked out of her prom because her dress was to provocative and may make the boys get naughty ideas. The message boys are controlled by “little head” and are not reasonable nor in control of there sexual arousal, so since the boys will be boys, so women must be the issue because they dress to provocative, overtly sexual, or flirty.
Elliot Roger also stated in a video he made on May 22nd. In the video he stated women are to blame for his life of loneliness and sex all things he felt he was entitled to because he is “magnificent”. In a prior video he called women’s sexual arousal as flawed and perverted because women are not attracted to him. He even went as far to say he is the “perfect gentlemen”. Despite his clear narcissistic personality he display a common held belief created by the overt sexualzation of women in the media and our culture. Elliot just took to the extreme that since he is the “perfect guy” any women he is attracted to owes him sex. He described women he is attracted to is the same warped perception that boys are bombarded everyday in media and advertising. We are raising men to believe that women bodies are there for our sexual enjoyment not part of a person.
Instead of blaming women we need to stop being afraid to talk about sex. Boy’s can control there desires if we hold them acceptable for there own behavior. A girl wears a low cut shirt and short-skirt that leave nothing to the imagination is not to blame for the drooling horny guys that may be aroused by her dress. We must teach the boys to understand the real fact that sex is not about being a man or if you are a virgin that something is wrong with you. I venture to guess Elliot had women chasing after him but since he was wrapped up in this single view of beauty that he failed to see the women who where after him. Women are curvy and beautiful lets start embracing what a real women looks like rather what the media says we should see as beautiful.
This is a subject where we need to undestand all sides. We have to undestand stigmas against men and women